Emotional Problems

Weight Loss: Emotional Problems
Coach Calls with Jon Gabriel

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Listen to Jon Gabriel Chat to Aubry About:

  • What emotional trauma kick-started her weight gain
  • How she can shed her emotional traumas
  • Advice on losing weight for good

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Read The Lecture Transcripts Here

Jon:  

Hi Aubry, how are you?

Aubry:  

I’m good, Jon, thank you. How are you doing?

Jon:  

I’m doing good, thanks.

Ashley:  

Good.

Jon:  

Just refresh our memory and for everybody that’s listening now, the conversation that we were having last week.

Aubry:  

I basically called up with two questions. I guess two really big loaded questions, though. One was about the visualization techniques you’ve talked about, about extra skin and losing the weight. And then the other was that I’d hit a trigger and I had mentioned that I have had different — I’ve been abused and I’m working through things but this trigger was not — I don’t even know. I think I got to the same point last time, like I didn’t even know what to say or what would be important to tell you or what you need to know.

Jon:  

Okay. Well, let me ask some questions.

Aubry:  

Great, okay.

Jon:  

Tell me how old you are, please?

Aubry:  

I'm 34.

Jon:  

Okay. How long have you had a weight issue?

Aubry:  

Since I — well, technically I started overeating at 12 and 13 but the weight didn’t start going on until about 18, 19 it finally started going on.

Jon:  

Okay. How much weight are you looking to lose right now?

Aubry:  

I lost about — well, I think I gained some back. I’ve lost 50 of it so I need to lose about, I would say 65.

Jon:  

Okay. So you lost about 50 pounds; is that right?

Aubry:  

Yes.

Jon:  

Okay. When did you lose that weight?

Aubry:  

That’s been coming off for the past oh gosh, I’m really bad at timeframes but since the summer.

Jon:  

Just this past —

Aubry:  

So just the beginning of summer. About five, six months.

Jon:  

Okay. About five, six months that you’ve lost 50 pounds?

Aubry:  

Yes.

Jon:  

Is that right?

Aubry:  

Yes.

Jon:  

That’s great. That’s incredible. That’s really amazing. That’s a very rapid rate to lose weight. That’s almost too quick. I'd say that is too quick.

Aubry:  

I do tend to lose weight rapidly and then I will hit a trigger. Like in the past I’ve always lived in fear. I think I told you last time, too, that your book kind of came as confirmation for me because I know my body and I know that when I start to hear too many oh you look great, something clicks and I live in fear of that moment that I’m going to start — yeah.

Jon:  

Okay. All right. So when did you start reading the book and listening to the CD and all that stuff?

Aubry:  

That was almost two months ago.

Jon:  

Two months ago, okay. Have you felt any kind of difference in terms of how you feel?

Aubry:  

I did. I did at first and I still do. It’s not the same. Like when I first started doing it and I had more hope and I felt really free and I didn’t feel like I was afraid to be thin, I didn’t feel like I — people were telling I looked great, I didn’t have a problem with it and I mean they still tell me that because I haven’t put so much weight back on that it’s made a huge difference yet. So that part of it’s still great. That wasn’t the trigger this time, people telling me I look nice.

Jon:  

Okay, what else?

Aubry:  

We started having financial problems and I really stress out about those and the stress from that just sent me, I guess, in a tailspin.

Jon:  

Okay. But you had, in the past, when people said you look great, that would trigger you?

Aubry:  

Yeah.

Jon:  

So let me just — and you think that’s related to the abuse that you suffered?

Aubry:  

Oh, I know it was. That’s why — I remember actually making a choice to start eating so that I would be unattractive, yeah.

Jon:  

What age was that?

Aubry:  

It was when I was 12.

Jon:  

Okay. You remember making that choice when you were 12?

Aubry:  

Yeah. I really remember making the choice like it made some — oh, it’s so horrible. I just remember thinking well maybe if I start my period the person will leave me alone, thinking they might get me pregnant or maybe if I start eating a lot, the person won’t be attracted to me. Because at the time the person that he was with was pregnant, so I’m thinking well maybe if I’m unattractive or if I’m bigger he won’t find me attractive, too.

Jon:  

Right, right. Okay. That’s a classic example of emotion — what I call emotional obesity. Have you done some work on that with any kind of healers or any kind of regression therapy or anything like that?

Aubry:  

Yeah. Nothing since — I have done a little bit. I don’t know which one it is but I have had some intense therapy where they had me talk about what I — go back to that time and try — I don’t remember what it’s called, but I did that a little and it was really intense for me.

Jon:  

Okay. How long did that abuse go on for?

Aubry:  

It went on for about six months and then it happened again when I was 17.

Jon:  

Okay. What made it stop back then when it went on? Like when you were 12, 13 and went on for six months, what made it stop?

Aubry:  

I think because the baby was born.

Jon:  

His baby? His partner’s baby?

Aubry:  

Yeah.

Jon:  

Is that what you’re saying? Okay.

Aubry:  

Yeah, yeah.

Jon:  

Okay. It happened again when you were 17 with the same person?

Aubry:  

Yeah.

Jon:  

Is this a family friend or relative?

Aubry:  

It’s my father.

Jon:  

Okay.

Aubry:  

Yeah, it was my dad.

Jon:  

Okay. Do you still have contact with him?

Aubry:  

I do off and on. My mother has decided — she chose to stay with him after everything came out. It’s a very dysfunctional and sad relationship. At this point, right now, I told them I really can’t speak with them; I can’t pretend that I’m okay with talking to them.

Jon:  

Right. I think that’s healthy.

Aubry:  

I’m sorry?

Jon:  

I said I think that’s very healthy.

Aubry:  

Oh good.

Jon:  

Are you in a relationship right now?

Aubry:  

Yes, I’m married. Is that what you’re asking?

Jon:  

That’s what I’m asking.

Aubry:  

If I was in a relationship?

Jon:  

Yes, yes. That’s what I’m asking. What’s your relationship like with your partner?

Aubry:  

My partner is actually wonderful and I’m very thankful for that because in the place that I was at I don’t know how — he’s a gift. He’s very supportive and loving. He is one of those people that just encourages you. He’s a major encourager. Very supportive and just encourages me to be myself and do what I need to, to heal in whatever shape or form or whatever that might be.

Jon:  

Okay, okay. So at what age did you have that therapy that you mentioned where you went back to the situation?

Aubry:  

That was actually, oh gosh, I was in my early 20s.

Jon:  

Okay, okay. I’m just wondering why it is now that you feel like when people say you look great you don’t feel threatened. I’m wondering what was the shift with that. That’s a really important one.

Aubry:  

Why I don’t feel — I don’t know how this is going to sound but just you and your book and hearing it over again that it’s almost like you gave me permission to feel safe. Because I know my body. It’s like the confirmation I told you. I knew what my body was doing, kind of, in the back of my mind I knew it was — there was some kind of trigger. I know that I’m safe now. I know he can’t hurt me but just to hear it was oh my gosh, yes, that’s it. It came together for me. Is that what you’re asking?

Jon:  

Okay. That’s what I’m asking you, yeah. So since you started listening to the CD — it used to be when you’d lose weight and people said oh my God, you look great, you would feel threatened because it would trigger this whole thing where if you’re attractive then you’re at risk?

Aubry:  

Exactly.

Jon:  

You’re not feeling that anymore?

Aubry:  

No. It used to be a pit of my stomach like drop, yeah.

Jon:  

Okay. So I just want you to do a visualization with me right now. I want you to imagine that you’re in your perfect, most ideal shape, okay?

Aubry:  

Okay.

Jon:  

You’re beautiful and you’re radiant and you’re everything that you could possibly be and more, okay? Can you do that for me?

Aubry:  

Yes.

Jon:  

Okay. You’re walking down the street and someone sees you and they’re just looking at you and they’re just marveling at how beautiful you are. You there?

Aubry:  

Yeah.

Jon:  

Okay. Just wondering how’s that feeling for you?

Aubry:  

It was slightly uncomfortable.

Jon:  

Okay, okay. This is a huge issue, Aubry, and this is something that I don’t want to leave alone because I’ve heard people tell me that they’ve had situations like this and they said, “Oh I did therapy, I’m done with that, I’ve taken care of the issue,” and sometimes that’s true, sometimes it’s not. But just by doing that visualization that’s a really good test, okay, to say that that issue’s still there. So this is what I want to do. I want to try that again, okay?

Aubry:  

Okay.

Jon:  

You’re walking down the street, okay. Okay, you’re walking down the street, you’re in your perfect, most ideal shape and you’re looking as beautiful and as radiant as you could ever imagine yourself looking, okay?

Aubry:  

Okay.

Jon:  

Can you do that?

Aubry:  

Yes.

Jon:  

Okay. Then I want you to imagine that you’re passing somebody and they’re looking at you and they’re marveling, they’re obviously marveling at how beautiful you are. Imagine that you’re smiling and you’re feeling really comfortable with that. And you're feeling to yourself, “he's allowed to think that I’m as beautiful as he wants, that’s his business, not going to hurt me.” I want you to imagine, also, that there’s this big, beautiful guardian angel next to you and he’s walking with you and he’s got big, bright wings and he’s strong and he’s safe and he’s gentle. And he’s right behind you, and just as you walk by I want you to imagine you’re walking by that person again. You there?

Aubry:  

Yes.

Jon:  

Okay. You’re walking by that person and they’re marveling at how beautiful you are. They’re looking at you and maybe it’s obvious that they’re even thinking some kind of thoughts about you.

Aubry:  

Okay.

Jon:  

But as they’re doing that, you’ve got this big, beautiful guardian angel behind you and he just takes his wings and he just kind of covers you, kind of shields you from their look. Can you imagine that?

Aubry:  

Yes.

Jon:  

You sort of smile knowing that this person can look, but nothing can happen because you’re shielded and protected. Can you imagine that?

Aubry:  

Yeah, so much better.

Jon:  

So this guardian angel, he looks at you as you’re walking. He says, “I’m always here with you. You’re a beautiful person. People are going to look at beautiful people. That’s just the way it is and that's a nice thing. I’m always here. I’m always going to protect you. I’m always going to shield you with my wings just like I did,” and you just feel that and every cell in your body feels that, that you’ve got that protection. Can you feel that?

Aubry:  

Yes.

Jon:  

I want you to take that with you as you go through life now and when you’re in the real world and people look at you. I want you to really feel those wings next to you, protecting you, shielding you.

Aubry:  

I love that.

Jon:  

Yeah. Okay. So I want you to stay with that for awhile, that visualization, that image. I’d love for you to listen to The Living Goddess Meditation that I’ve created. And if you email my office, if you email Orders@gabrielmethod.com and ask for Jenny and she’ll send you a complimentary copy of that CD. It’s called The Living Goddess Meditation. I'd love for you to listen to it during the day.

Aubry:  

Okay.

Jon:  

And in the meditation, there's a part where you imagine that there's, like a guardian angel touching you, protecting you. And I want you to make a connection with that so that you always have that connection, and that's the connection to your safety. And so you always feel safe.

Aubry:  

Okay, thank you. I love that, thank you.

Jon:  

Good, because that's a more important issue than the stress issue of the finances. I'm not minimizing that, but that's one that we can deal with, too, but I really want to stay with this one first.

Aubry:  

Okay.

Jon:  

I want you to work on this and have this visualization, just the one that we had just now where you're walking down the street and someone's protecting you, this guardian angel is protecting you. Have that same image every morning as you wake up and every night as you go to sleep for a few weeks. It will happen very quickly. It will almost happen automatically as you're going to sleep if you do it enough times. You'll just see it. It will be effortless.

And then I want you to check back with me in a couple weeks, and then I'm going to give you a visualization for the stress, the financial aspect of things. But I really, really need you to drill this one, just really channel it into every cell of your body right now and be done with that issue once and for all, and then we can move on.

Aubry:  

Thank you.

Jon:  

Okay?

Aubry:  

Yeah, that sounds so good.

Jon:  

Okay, good. So let's check back in a few weeks. Okay, Aubry?

Aubry:  

Okay, thank you so much.

Jon:  

My pleasure.

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