Weight Loss: Food Allergies
Coach Calls with Jon Gabriel

Food Allergies

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Listen to Jon Gabriel Chat to Sharron About:

  • How to control cravings for foods you’re allergic to
  • When to cut out certain foods
  • How to manage your allergies

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Read The Lecture Transcripts Here

Jon:  

And then there’s Sharron.

Sharron:  

Hi. Can you hear me?

Jon:  

Hi, Sharron.

Sharron:  

Hi.

Jon:  

I can hear you really good.

Sharron:  

Oh good.

Jon:  

Yeah.

Sharron:  

Good. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to ask you some questions because I have been struggling with a weight problem for my entire life. I have about 200 pounds that I have to lose. You know, it’s been a similar story to yours. I so relate to you because you diet your way all the way up there.

The question I have today — I have a zillion questions, but the one I told the moderator I was going to ask you is about food allergies. I do have some allergies to wheat, dairy, soy, and so this eliminates a lot of the whey-based products that I can’t have. A lot of the whole grains are eliminated. But I find that I…
Jon:  

Well, I’m glad because you’ve eliminated — if you’re eliminating those foods you’re eliminating all the foods that are causing problems in the first place, anyway.

Sharron:  

That’s true, but I have cravings for them. So, in your program you say if you have a craving you’ve got to go for it or your body is going to feel like you’re denying it and it’s going to start…

Jon:  

Okay. Let me ask you some questions.

Sharron:  

Sure.

Jon:  

Do you have irritable bowel syndrome?

Sharron:  

No.

Jon:  

IBS?

Sharron:  

No.

Jon:  

Okay. Do you have other digestion-related issues?

Sharron:  

No.

Jon:  

Okay. How do you know you have these food allergies?

Sharron:  

I’ve been tested, and they showed up positive.

Jon:  

Okay. My sense is that this is a small part of the equation. If most people got tested for these allergies, they would have that same result.

Sharron:  

Well what happened for me is when I eat them, my feet swell, and they sizzle and burn.

Jon:  

Wow.

Sharron:  

And in some cases lately, I’ve started on a new regimen of bioidentical hormones, and one of them did not agree with me, and I had all kinds of swelling and redness in my face. So I do have a definite allergic response when I eat them, particularly dairy — especially dairy.

Jon:  

Right. Okay. Okay. How long have you had — you had a weight issue all your life?

Sharron:  

Yeah. All my life.

Jon:  

And starting from when?

Sharron:  

Age four.

Jon:  

And can I just ask you a little bit about age four? What there anything…?

Sharron:  

Of course. Yeah. Yeah. I think what I’ve — there’s two possible things. The first is I’m the first born of six children, and the issue that I think is the biggest or has played the biggest role, is that when I was 1 1/2 my next sister was born. In order for my father to be there for the birth, they had to induce my mother’s delivery, and then from the hospital my father left for the Korean War. So overnight I was the star of the family, and then the next night both parents were gone for an extended period of time and then when they came back — when my mother came back there was a new sister who was taking the attention.

So from that, I believe, I developed a whole series of beliefs about not being worthy, that men leave me, and sure enough that’s all the men that I choose in my life. All that sort of stuff. So that’s the first one.

And then the second happened when I was four years old or possible five or six — early, though. My parents went out for an evening. They were supposed to have a female friend come and babysit for us from a babysitting club, but her husband came instead.
Jon:  

I know where this is going.

Sharron:  

And my mother says the next day all of us children — there were four of us by that time — all of us children were different, but she would never say how. And I started being afraid of sleeping alone in my bedroom. Now I don’t have any memory at all of what happened, but that’s an event that may have caused some problems.

Jon:  

Where do you live?

Sharron:  

In upstate New York.

Jon:  

Have you had much — any kind of therapy for that — for that experience?

Sharron:  

Years and years and years.

Jon:  

What type of therapy?

Sharron:  

Well I’ve had cognitive therapy. I’ve had hypnosis. I’ve had rebirthing. I’ve had all kinds of meditation. I’ve had energy work. I’ve had all kinds of body work to relate to it. I mean I’ve tried — everything single thing you could possibly imagine, I’ve tried.

Jon:  

And are your parents overweight?

Sharron:  

No. They’re not.

Jon:  

How about your other siblings?

Sharron:  

My five — there are five girls in my family and all five of us tend to have a weight problem. My brother has always been thin.

Jon:  

Okay. That’s really interesting because it was your sisters that everything was different after that.

Sharron:  

Yeah.

Jon:  

All right. Well there’s no question that that’s an issue that’s affecting you in an enormous — I mean, there’s inside you — there’s a trauma inside you basically.

Sharron:  

Right. And so I’ve been aware of the fact that this had gone on for number of years now, and so I have used that in all of the different therapies I have been using in recent years and, I thought that I had dealt with it, and it was over and done with. I certainly don’t feel afraid — well, maybe that’s — may not be true. I may actually be afraid of some social situations so…

Jon:  

What type of social situations?

Sharron:  

Well certainly being accepted by members of the opposite sex, for sure, and having a weight problem only ensures that will happen, you know.

Kelly:  

That’s an interesting choice of words.

Sharron:  

Pardon me.

Jon:  

Yeah. What’s that Kelly?

Kelly:  

I was just saying that’s an interesting choice of words. Ensuring that would happen.

Jon:  

Being accepted? Oh, ensuring. I think you’re absolutely right when you say ensuring. That’s what I’m hearing.

Kelly:  

You know, can I just say one tiny thing? There’s this very wonderful therapist. She’s been on Oprah a zillion times — a dear, dear friend of mine. Her name is Dr. Pat Allen. Are you acquainted with her?

Sharron:  

No. I’m sure I’ve seen her if she’s been on Oprah.

Kelly:  

She’s astounding. She’s really amazing and she’s all about — the specific kind of therapy — you can just Google Dr. Pat Allen. She does some sessions where you can do it on the phone, she’s here in California. She doesn’t believe in long-term endless therapy. She gets right to the point, and she is amazingly effective. She was just on a couple of other shows like that. Please look her up.

Sharron:  

I will. Thank you.

Kelly:  

I feel strongly that you would do well with her.

Sharron:  

Thank you.

Kelly:  

You’re welcome.

Jon:  

Okay. I just want to say — what Kelly said before when you said ensure.

Kelly:  

That’s what Pat Allen works with. These words we use that we just throw away that we think –

Jon:  

Well what I’m hearing when you say ensure, is that you’re ensuring that what happened to you when you were four years old is never going to happen again.

Kelly:  

Yes.

Sharron:  

Right.

Jon:  

That make sense?

Sharron:  

Yes, it does.

Jon:  

So there’s two elements here. One is to understand that so that you don’t get mad at your body for just — like there’s something wrong with your body. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your body. Your body is helping to keep — to protect you from never having the type of trauma that you had when you were four years old. So there’s nothing wrong with your body. That’s the first thing. And you’re not what people would call genetically fat, which as I’ve mentioned before, I don’t necessarily believe in anymore anyway, but you’re not that because you’re parents aren’t overweight.

Sharron:  

Right.

Jon:  

But your body is ensuring. I’m going to go out on a limb here, and I’m going to say that because it’s really hard to access these memories, I would — what I would kind of encourage you to do is to get into those really uncomfortable situations, and see what comes up for you.

Sharron:  

Well actually once while I was in therapy years ago, I had an experience. It was really quite amazing. I had a dream where there was a big serpent, and the serpent was really threatening me and threatening my home and threatening my friends and my family, and I went up and killed it. And when I woke up, the thing I remember was this feeling of — it felt like it was connected to this particular past trauma. And my therapist thought this was a wonderful breakthrough and so on and so forth.

Jon:  

I just know you’ve gone down the road pretty far –

Sharron:  

Yes, I have.

Jon:  

And so I think that the next step for you is to play this out in the theater of life.

Sharron:  

What does that mean?

Jon:  

And what I mean by that, is to go into those uncomfortable situations of being either in a relationship or being in a social situation with the opposite sex, and feeling what comes up, and keeping in mind that if you’re mad at this person or if he’s this and that, he’s really someone that you kind of attracted to help you work out this issue. So relationships are sometimes — people think that relationships are about pleasure and fun — certainly they’re about that, but they’re also about working through issues that you can’t work through any other way.

So if you can be open to the possibility of getting — of being with male company and being in an uncomfortable situation — and when I say uncomfortable, obviously I mean maybe you’re dating and maybe that’s uncomfortable for you. I don’t mean dangerous by any means. But just someone that you’re attracted to, and take a chance, and yeah there’s going to be other stuff, "Oh, maybe I’m too heavy, why would he like me?" So all that stuff is going to come up, but then there’s going to be other issues about how you feel. Really move through those issues — stay very present and be aware that all the uncomfortable feelings that come up are really there to help you move through them and work through them. It’s really safe to be loved. I allow myself to be loved.

And I’m going to give you a visualization that’s very similar to the abundance visualization that’s going help you attract love to you and allow love to you so that you can work out these issues, because I think in a relationship you’re going to do really well at getting through this. That’s sort of like a rite of passage for you right now, is to be in a relationship and to be present in a relationship, functioning in a relationship, feel lovable in a relationship, feel safe in a relationship.
Kelly:  

Jon, you’re so right on. Dr. Pat Allen would call that Duty Dating.

Jon:  

All right. I like that.

Kelly:  

Duty Dating. Putting yourself in there…

Sharron:  

Do you tell the guy?

Kelly:  

Have Duty Dating.

Jon:  

I have selected you for my Duty Date.

Sharron:  

Hey babe, you’re my Duty Date.

Kelly:  

That’s just what Jon’s talking about.

Jon:  

You know what’s going to happen?

Kelly:  

Putting yourself right in there.

Jon:  

There’s going to be a story in 20 – go ahead Kelly.

Kelly:  

It acts as, you know, that sort of stimulation to get you to the next level. It’s not necessarily about…

Jon:  

But you know what’s going to happen though, Sharron, is that you’re going to end up Duty Dating someone, you’re going to fall in love, and then it’s going to be a story. Twenty years later, you’re going to say, "Well, I was just Duty Dating," and all of a sudden -

Kelly:  

It happens!

Jon:  

You’ve got five kids. But let me give you this visualization real quick because I think we don’t have too much time.

Kelly:  

Yeah. We’ve got four minutes. No two minutes.

Jon:  

I’m going to — two minutes, yeah. The visualization — remember — for my last caller I talked about being an infinite ocean of abundance and allowing that ocean in. So I would like you to imagine that you’re an infinite ocean of love. Whatever color that is. Like for me when I do this visualization for just allowing love and feeling loveable, so that when I’m in a relationship I can allow myself to enjoy it and experience all the good and feel safe and feel loveable and all this kind of stuff. So I imagine it being this infinite red ocean of love.

Sharron:  

Red. Wow.

Jon:  

That’s just my color. But you use the color that you want. But it’s an infinite ocean of love and you can personify that as being someone that you’ve loved in the past or that you love now, but just an infinite ocean of love and you open up your pores and you just allow that love to come in, and you say to yourself, "Love is always here. Love is safe. I allow love. I allow myself to be loved. I am loveable." And you feel love pouring through you. As I’m talking I’m doing it. You can do it that easily. You allow love to pour through you and to always be with you. And that will help you feel safe in that experience and move through those issues.

Sharron:  

Okay.

Jon:  

Okay? So that’s a good one for you. Once you have that in check and your body allows yourself to feel safer losing weight, it’s going to be much easier to lose. The weight’s going to come off much easier.

Kelly:  

Will you let us know how you’re doing?

Sharron:  

Yes, I certainly will. Thank you so much.

Kelly:  

Okay.

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