Weight Loss: Losing Pregnancy Weight
Coach Calls with Jon Gabriel

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Listen to Jon Gabriel Chat to Melissa About:

  • Why she isn’t able to lose her pregnancy weight
  • How she gained weight after losing her daughter
  • Ways to trigger her weight loss

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Read The Lecture Transcripts Here

Jon:  

Melissa?

Melissa:  

Hi

Jon:  

Hi. How are you?

Melissa:  

Hello?

Jon:  

Yeah, hi Melissa.

Melissa:  

I’m good, thanks.

Jon:  

You’re calling from Denver?

Melissa:  

Denver.

Jon:  

Okay. How are you?

Melissa:  

I’m all right. I’ve been following your method for about six months and I really haven’t seen anything happen yet.

Jon:  

Okay. The first I want to ask you, just now we were talking about different issues, I just want to ask you about sleep apnea.

Melissa:  

I really don’t think that’s a problem for me but one of the problems might be that I’m still nursing my daughter at night.

Jon:  

So sleep is an issue for you?

Melissa:  

I guess it would be. I think if she weren’t there I would have a good night’s sleep.

Jon:  

All right. Well, let’s talk. I’m getting a sense of what’s happening for you already, but let me just ask you a couple of questions. How much weight are you looking to lose?

Melissa:  

About 50 pounds.

Jon:  

Okay. How long have you had that weight on you?

Melissa:  

Weight was never an issue for me until I lost my first daughter over two years ago. However, I’ve been working with a couple of people on it actually, and my sense is that that’s really not my issue anymore, necessarily.

Jon:  

Okay. Well, can I just stop you there, please? How old was your daughter?

Melissa:  

Fourteen months, the one I have right now.

Jon:  

No. The daughter that you lost?

Melissa:  

She would have been two in June.

Jon:  

How old was she when she passed away? That’s what I’m asking.

Melissa:  

A day and-a-half from congenital issues.

Jon:  

Okay. That’s when you started gaining weight. So when you say — so you were pregnant — go ahead.

Melissa:  

Well, the pregnancy weight has just never come off, and I’m really not that overweight on the rest of my body. It’s really concentrated around my middle.

Jon:  

Okay. I need to ask you a really important question, so stay with me. After you lost your daughter, did you gain more weight or did you just not lose your pregnancy weight?

Melissa:  

I just didn’t lose my pregnancy weight.

Jon:  

Okay. So you didn’t lose your pregnancy weight and that pregnancy weight was -

Melissa:  

In fact, I lost the pregnancy weight from the second daughter pretty easily.

Jon:  

Okay. Now when you had your second daughter, were you still 50 pounds overweight?

Melissa:  

Yes.

Jon:  

Okay. Then how much did you lose after you gave birth to your second daughter?

Melissa:  

I lost — well, there was the weight of her and I’d say I lost about — I don’t really weigh myself –

Jon:  

Okay. Just approximately.

Melissa:  

- and I haven’t my whole life. I’d say I lost about 30 pounds pretty quickly after I had the second daughter.

Jon:  

Okay. And then now, from where you are now, how much time has — how old is your daughter now? Your second daughter?

Melissa:  

Fourteen months.

Jon:  

Fourteen months. So you lost about 30 pounds and how much more weight, approximately, were you looking to lose at that point?

Melissa:  

I’d say I’m about 190, 195 now and I’m pretty sure my ideal weight would be about 140.

Jon:  

Okay. Did you gain weight — from the point where you had lost that 30 pounds, did you gain that 30 pounds back?

Melissa:  

No, no.

Jon:  

Okay. You didn’t gain that 30 pounds. So you gave birth, you lost the 30 pounds and right now you’re stable at that and you’re still — you’re looking to lose another 50 pounds is what you’re saying; is that right?

Melissa:  

Right. I’m still literally — yeah, it has not budged at all.

Jon:  

You’re still breastfeeding?

Melissa:  

Yes.

Jon:  

Okay. That’s sort of common when you’re breastfeeding, because your body is going to want to keep extra weight on it. Initially when you start breastfeeding you lose weight very quickly, which is exactly what happened to you, but then your body is always going to want to keep a little bit more weight on you because you’re feeding for two and it’s protection. It’s going to make sure — so as long as you’re breastfeeding, there’s a little bit of a chemistry that’s happening that’s going to keep you from getting down to your most ideal weight. That’s not the case for everybody, but that’s fairly common and that’s what sounds like is happening to you.

This issue of having lost your daughter and then not losing the weight after that, that’s a really big issue that I’ve had experience with, with a number of people. In fact, I know one lady who is a little bit different. She lost a daughter that was eight years old and that girl was 60 pounds and then this lady put on 60 pounds and she wasn’t able to take it off for years.

Melissa:  

Right. I did ready about that in your book.

Jon:   Yeah. So that issue really — I don’t want to downplay that issue, and I’ve talked to people and they say, “Well, I’ve taken care of the emotional thing already.” I would say that maybe that’s true, maybe it’s not — never, ever discount something like that. Never discount — and in general, I just want to make this announcement to people that are listening, in general, when you can target your weight to a certain issue, never discount that issue. So I’d say okay, I’ve dealt with that issue already. Whatever that issue is, as long as you’re still holding on to the weight, that’s probably an issue that needs to be dealt with. So I would still encourage you to continue to work in that area. For you, what I would say is that once — I encourage you to breastfeed for as long as possible because it’s so essential to your daughter but what’s your -

Melissa:  

Right. I’m really not — I need to give her a couple of years.

Jon:  

But over time, once she starts eating more and more you’re going to be breastfeeding less and less. It’s going to make it easier and easier for you to lose weight. Now the biggest issue I find with mothers, also, is they don’t have space in their life. They’re not getting enough sleep and that causes, as we talked about, that will elevate your cortisol levels and activate your FAT programs. So mothers are usually not getting enough sleep and they’re not getting enough personal time. And there is one story, in the book in chapter 17 under the Success Profiles, I talk about Sue who lives in my town here and she actually helped design the book and she just did a lot of work for me, really sweet lady.

Melissa:  

Is she the one where she put her baby in daycare once a week?

Jon:  

Yeah, exactly, yeah. As I was talking to her, we were talking about weight loss, and as I was talking to her she had her baby on her lap and the baby — I could just see that the baby was pulling for her attention, pulling for her attention, pulling for her attention and I could almost see, energetically, that she was doing everything she could to kind of like create her own space. And I said to her, “You know what, I don’t want to talk about — I don’t want to turn this into a diet or anything, I’m going to give you a prescription and that prescription is that you need to have at least half a day, if not a day, just for yourself, to recharge because you’re getting all of your energy pulled out of you and you need to plug in a recharge.”

So we wrote out a prescription of all the things that she could do in her day. Go for a walk on the beach, sit and have tea. Just things that mothers don’t allow themselves to do because they feel like they have to give and give and give and give, but if you’re going to give and give and give and give, you’re giving from your own personal resources, there’s nothing left and your body is going to try to protect you and it actually uses weight as a way to keep a buffer between you and the world when the world is pulling from you and pulling from you and puling from you.

So when I did this and she had her day, she started losing weight really, really quickly. And then after this what I did was I made a visualization CD specifically for mothers that I call the Living Goddess Meditation, and really it’s suitable for women of all ages but it’s really, really good for mothers because what the Living Goddess Meditation does is it teaches you how to reconnect with that infinite energy that we all have access to, so that when we’re giving out, we’re replenishing.

So what I would recommend for you is to listen to the Living Goddess Meditation, if you could, on a regular basis, every morning if possible. If you could create just a space that’s just for you for 25 minutes and listen to that meditation you will have an enormous result from that and a very quick result from that, and then if, ideally, you could have just a half day just for yourself to recharge once a week, you’ll have energy that you can give out to your partner and to your kids and to the world because you’re recharging. And if you’re not recharging, your body is going to use weight to try to just keep the world at bay. It’s like a buffer that you’re using, because literally you’ve got someone sucking from you. What’s that?

Melissa:  

It’s true. I can see that, and actually when you were just talking money, that resonated with me a lot, too. My husband and I are both students living on loans, so there’s always that fear, you know. We know that we’re heading into good careers when we’re done with school, but those student aid statements come in and we think wow, I could have bought a house with this money.

Jon:  

Right. So you’re a student, you’re a mother; you’re trying to make ends meet. You’ve got all these things going on and that’s huge. You need to recharge. That’s what’s going to help you. Your body is actually trying to protect you from the enormous stress of your life. It’s a mistake, it’s not really protecting you, but your body doesn’t know that. It just knows that it’s getting the chemical signals.

So listening to the Living Goddess Meditation is going to take away a lot of the stress; it’s going to help you recharge. Doing some of the visualizations for abundance that I talked about and I talk about in the book will help enormously, and having some time just for yourself. Those things will change the chemistry in your body and make it much easier for you to lose weight.

Melissa:  

I think one of my big questions was that was kind of my inkling and it’s hard for me to do meditation, so I tried to look around your website for the smart music that you’ve talked about and I guess I didn’t find it.

Jon:  

Yeah. Send an email to my office, but more importantly for you, you want the Living Goddess Meditation. Just plug into that. If you can do that every day, that’s going to help you recharge. That’s really — more than anything I’d say that’s what you need, is just to listen to that. And if you send Jenny an email she’ll arrange for you — to send you one.

Melissa:  

You know, I really believe that this will work eventually. I think my educational background is in anthropology and actually right now I’m studying Chinese medicine and acupuncture, so I think a lot of different aspects of your method just really resonated with me.

Jon:  

Well, it will work, but you have to address the real issues. We could sit there and say well, what are you eating all day, that’s not addressing the real issues. So what the real issue is for you is, you have to learn how to manage stress and you have to learn how to communicate to your body that the weight is not keeping you safe. You have to learn how to feel safe and you have to learn how to recharge for your energy.

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