Weight Loss: Testimonials
Coach Calls with Jon Gabriel

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Listen to Jon Gabriel Chat to Jennifer About:

  • Whether we need to suffer in order to lose weight
  • Why most diets are only short-term solutions
  • The reason why deprivation causes weight gain

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Read The Lecture Transcripts Here

Jon:  

Jennifer, from California

Jennifer:  

I’m here.

Kelly:  

Hi.

Jon:  

Oh, Jennifer, you’re here.

Jennifer:  

I’m here. Hi.

Jennifer:  

I’m good, thank you so much. My son is, he’s with me, he’s 16 years old, and I’ve had a weight problem my entire life. I’ve tried everything, and it seems like, around our household, we’ve got the consensus is the Atkins Diet is the way to go. I’ve lost 60 pounds doing that, eight years ago.

Kelly:  

Oh, Jon. Tell them your Atkins story, you’ve got to.

Jon:  

Well, I will, I will. Let me hear the question first then we’ll tell it.

Jennifer:  

My husband lost 80 pounds on Atkins. So, I started Atkins again two days ago. And I bought your book about four months ago, and I started to read it, and I got into it, and I actually loved it. I got to about the second or third chapter, but just like every other thing I start, I put it down, and I never get back up to it, then I’m 255 pounds.

So, my son, he wants you to explain to him, should I suffer, and be on the Atkins diet, and deprive myself of regular food? He wants to know is pain, gain? Is there a better diet? Or, he’s really wanting me to explain to him the Atkins thing.

Jon:  

Okay, yes. And this is for your sake, not for his. Is that right?

Jeniffer:  

This is for my sake, yes. Because he’s mad at me right now. I ate three pieces of pizza tonight because I said, “I’m not going to do this. I can’t, I feel like I want to eat.”

Jon:  

Here’s the issue. The Atkins diet, is a diet. Okay? And a diet has the premise that you can somehow force yourself to lose weight. Now, the problem is, we have a mechanism inside our brain that causes us to be a certain weight, and it’s a program, I call it the FAT programs. And I talked about last week what causes the FAT programs to activate, why your body would want to activate your FAT programs, and one of the reasons is famine.

If you were in a famine, and there wasn’t enough to eat, and you were hungry all the time, it would cause chemistry in your body. That chemistry would activate your FAT programs. That would make you want to be fatter. Now, when your body wants to be fatter, what happens is, you’re hungry. You crave fattening food, your metabolism slows down. You become insulin resistant, so that your insulin levels go up, and then you lose the ability to burn fat. So, the reason why you crave three pieces of pizza is because your FAT programs are on, your body wants to hold on to weight. You need to understand why.

Now, going on the Atkins diet, will work in the short term just like any diet will work in the short term, but because it’s a diet, it activates your FAT programs and causes a famine response, and that makes your body want to be fatter.

So, if your body wants to be 250 pounds, and you go on the Atkins diet and you lose 30 pounds, you’re now down to 220. You’ve lost that 30 pounds, but the problem is, your body now wants to be 260 pounds. Not 250 pounds anymore, 260. Because every time you instigate a famine in your system, it makes your body want to be fatter.

So, the question is, why does your body want to be fatter? Now, in the book, what you’ll find, is that there’s a whole list of reasons why your body would want to hold onto weight. Many are mental and emotional, like Helen’s issue. Some of them could be chemical, like Robin’s issues that she just called in about. You have to understand your issues. So, for you personally, you say that you have been heavy all your life. Is that right? Or you’ve been dieting all your life?

Jennifer:  

That’s right. Yes, since about eight or nine years old.

Jon:  

Since about eight or nine years old.

Jennifer:  

Yes.

Jon:  

Okay. So, the first question I have for you is, what was your life like back when you were eight or nine years old? Because before than you didn’t have a weight issue.

Jennifer:  

I think I had — I come from a family of nine, you know having brothers and sisters. I had a little sister that has hydrocephalus, which is water on the brain, and I don’t know. I felt like I was okay. I felt like I had a good childhood, I felt okay. I don’t feel like I was being abused or being mistreated by my parents.

Jon:  

Tell me about your — was it your brother, you said, that had this hydrocephalus?

Jennifer:  

Little sister, she’s four years younger than I was. I see pictures of me at five, and I was perfectly normal, a cute little, skinny kid like my other sister, and I started putting on weight in kindergarten, when I was six years old.

Jon:  

Okay, now what about your sister? She didn’t make it?

Jennifer:  

No, she did. She’s still alive, she’s 33 years old now. I’m 38. She’s got water on the brain, she’s coming back from San Francisco right now, she just had brain surgery again a couple of days ago. But, I don’t know what switched off on me at six years old. I don’t know why, all of a sudden, I started getting fat, but I did, and I was the only one in my whole family like this. You know what I mean? Everybody else was pretty much a normal weight.

Jon:  

Usually it’s one of two things when it happens at that age. It’s either an emotional issue, like it could be somebody who was bullying you, obviously abuse is an obvious one, or a death, a separation, moving to another location. It could be an emotional issue, or it would be a medical/chemical issue. Like sometimes getting, for example, vaccinations — which I’m not saying you should or should not get vaccinations –but there is some evidence to show that some of the vaccinations can cause — well, vaccinations have a lot of toxins in them, and those toxins can cause your body to want to hold on the weight. The hepatitis vaccination, for example, may possibly cause insulin resistance, and that causes your insulin levels to elevate, and that will cause your body to hold onto weight. So –

Jennifer:  

I’m thinking — at four and a half years old, you know, I’ve got to be honest, my dad was physically abusive. He did, he threw me against the wall at four and a half years old and made me shove matches down my throat because I lit about a one by one inch square of our brand new carpet, in our brand new home that we just bought, on fire, and it sizzled the carpet all the way down to black nubs. And, I think — so I don’t know, maybe it was my dad beating me up or –

Jon:  

You’re talking about — listen, I’ve got a seven year old daughter, okay? And I cannot possibly imagine what type of trauma that would cause her if I did either of those things to her. What type of lifelong trauma, I could not even fathom it. I know what a four year old girl is like, I can’t even fathom it.

So, when you say to me, that maybe this might be it. I’m telling you, without question, 100 percent, those are probably the two most traumatic experiences of your life. And the reason is, because when you are four and a half years old, you are open. You don’t have defenses, you are open and honest, and your parents are everything to you. And, because you’re so open and receptive, and because your parents are to you, or you just revere them as God, because they are God to you at that age, to have that happen is a trauma that you’re carrying around with you, in some place inside you, that’s beyond words. It’s unthinkable.

There’s no possible way to fathom that. And, the fact that you remember it is really important, because it would be horrible, or much worse if you didn’t remember, because then you would be chasing a ghost that you couldn’t find. Here you at least remembered. So, going to a qualified therapist that can help you go back to those situations and be four years old again, and re-experience it, in all of its pain and, all of its trauma, so that you can release it, will shift your set point.

In the meantime, your body is fighting. Your body is protecting you from something that happened when you were four and a half years old, which is beyond words unthinkable. And your body knows it. Your body never wants you to be in that kind of pain. And what happens is, it doesn’t have that many resources to protect you, but fat’s one of them because fat causes a barrier between you and the outside world. And, that’s just one way that your body can protect you. How else can it protect you? So, that’s what you’re fighting.

So, you go to the Atkins diet, to this diet, to that diet, and you start losing weight, and your body is trying to defend you from this trauma, and so, of course, you’re going to be hungrier. And your body knows how to make your hungry. And here’s the really important thing, you can control how much you eat for a short amount of time, but you can’t control how hungry you are. And this is something really important for your son to understand, you cannot control how hungry you are. And you cannot control the types of foods that you’re craving. And if your body wants you to have weight on, it will make you hungry for the most fattening foods at the worst time. Being hungry for three pieces of pizza at night before you go to sleep, is the perfect way to keep weight on, and that’s what your body wants to do. So your son needs to understand that your body is trying to defend you from a horrific trauma, and it knows how to do it. The part of our brain that regulates hunger, and regulates body weight is called the hypothalamus, it’s your animal brain. It’s the exact same part of your brain that controls how much sleep you need, how much oxygen you need, and your heartbeat.

So, imagine if you went to the doctor and he said, “Your problem is that you sleep too much, just sleep less.” And he said, “Just sleep two hours a night.” And your son said to you, “Mom, just sleep two hours a night, what’s wrong with you? You’re so lazy. Why don’t you just sleep two hours a night?” And you could do that for a while, right? You could do that for a week, two weeks, but eventually, you’re going to need a big sleep. And then the whole world judges you and says, “Look at you, you slept for 10 hours. What’s wrong with you? Stop sleeping.” Well, that’s because the part of your bran that knows how much sleep you need is telling you that.

And if your doctor told you your problem is you breathe too much, you could breathe less for a minute or two, but your body’s going to force you to breathe because you need oxygen. Well, if your body thinks you need the weight for whatever reason, and there’s a lot of reasons I talk about in the book, then your body’s going to force you to eat. And I lived through this.

I’ve been thin now for five years. I don’t ever have to think about what I eat, never, ever, ever, ever, ever. But, when I was heavy, I was fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting, and when it was nighttime, if I didn’t have those three pieces of pizza, or that doughnut, or whatever it was, I couldn’t go to sleep. And that’s because my body wanted to be fat, it doesn’t want to be fat anymore.

And that’s the message. You’ve got to get your body to want to be thin. So what I would suggest for you is that you find a really good healer that can help you relive these situations and release them. And the way to do that, if you don’t know one, is to go to a health food store, and to look at the flyers on the wall, because all the really good healers, they always put their flyers up, and there’s pictures of them. And just look at the pictures, and just look at the people, and find out one that makes sense to you. You look at the person and you say, “That’s someone I feel safe with.” Because you really need to feel safe in order to get into that place. So, you look at someone and go, “That’s someone I can trust, that’s someone I feel safe with.” And you call them up, and you have some sessions with them, and it will make all the difference in the world.

In the meantime, continue to listen to the CD, I recommend you listen to it twice a day. Also, continue to follow the eating suggestions about having a really good breakfast, because that will help keep your blood sugar stable.

Jennifer:  

Yes, I have diabetes and high blood pressure, but –

Jon:  

It’s all related, but the important is that this is your issue, you understand it now, and you have a direction. And it’s a little bit like, when you’re looking for a key, you know how when you’re looking for your car key and you don’t know where you are, and you think they’re under your bed, but you don’t want to go there. You don’t want to bend down and look under your bed. Have you ever done that? I do this all the time, where I know they’re somewhere where I have to bend down and look, and I don’t feel like doing it, so I look on the counter, I look on the table. I look in the same places over and over and over again, but until you bend down, look under the bed, that’s where the key is. And now you know where it is for you.

Kelly:  

Three minutes, three minutes. Just to give a reminder –

Jennifer:  

Jon, thank you so much for giving me this time. You really made me feel emotional, and I think that is probably — I haven’t thought about that in a long time, and just talking to you really brought that out, that whole episode. And my mom came home that night, and my sister and I, my little sister was three and I was four and a half, and she saw me in the bathtub and my forehead was split open from my dad hitting me, or smacking me up against the wall, and I was whimpering. And she told me that story several times, likes it’s bothered her my whole life that I went through that, too. So, I think that my body weight, my strengths, there’s so many things about me that — I’ve always been, kind of, a macho sort of girl, even though I’ve got diabetes and –

Jon:  

But, inside of you, there’s a four and a half year old girl that’s terrified, and she has every right to be terrified. And that’s who you have to get in touch with, that’s who you have to see to, and that’s who you have to comfort. And when you do that, your problems will be solved.

Jennifer:  

Thank you so much, you’re an angel, you really are. I’ve heard a lot. And I want to continue reading your book and following this program, and I will start listening to that CD twice a day, and I’m sure it’s going to make a big difference in my life, my husband, and my other kids that have weight problems.

Jon:  

Yes. Okay, well, we just have one minute left, sweetheart, so thank you very much, let’s be in touch.

Kelly:  

Don’t you have a little message for kids? Don’t you have that?

Jon:  

Yes, we do have a CD —

Jennifer:  

I think the eight year old has the weight problems. The rest of my kids are, you know, they’re just about 20 or 30 pounds overweight.

Jon:  

I just want to say that, what I’ve found with kids is that, they listen to the CD, the visualization CD, kids are really powerful visualizers, because they haven’t lost that. That hasn’t atrophied yet. So, I’ve had really good successes with that. But, we just have a couple of seconds left, so, I’ll say goodbye for now, and you can keep in touch with me, you can email me at Jon@JonGabriel.com, there’s no “H” in Jon. And, you can call me, and we can keep in touch.

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