Kids and Weight Loss
Coach Calls with Jon Gabriel

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Listen to Jon Gabriel Chat to Allison About:

  • How to ensure children follow a healthy diet
  • When you should and shouldn’t limit your kids
  • Why your child may be developing eating problems

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Read The Lecture Transcripts Here

Jon:  

And I want to talk to — okay, Allison’s the next caller from Tennessee.

Allison:  

Hi.

Jon:  

Hi Allison.

Allison:  

Hi.

Jon:  

Hi, how are you?

Allison:  

Good.

Jon:  

How can I help you?

Allison:  

I wanted to ask you about — I have a six and-a-half year old daughter and she’s not overweight but she would be if I let her. I have to — I don’t allow her just to eat whatever she wants but she is completely obsessed with food. She plans her meals the day before. She –

Kelly:  

Wow.

Allison:  

Yeah, she like wants to make sure she gets the right amount of protein and carbs and I know I’ve done it to her, but I don’t know how to get her out of it. I listen to your CD on weight loss for kids but like if she — she eats mostly healthy but then like she might get overcome with a cookie sitting in front of her or something and then so she’ll eat it and then she’ll start crying because she ate something with sugar in it and I don’t know how to –

Jon:  

Okay, she’s not overweight right now, did you say that?

Allison:  

Right.

Jon:  

She’s not overweight. If she’s not overweight right now it’s a very kind of dangerous situation that you’re in right now because you have the potential to cause a lifetime of issues. And you did say something that really kind of triggered something in me and concerned me, and that is when you said that she would be overweight if I let her.

Kelly:  

Yeah.

Jon:  

Is that –

Allison:  

Right. I know, but if I let her eat to her heart’s content I’m afraid that she would get really overweight.

Jon:  

Okay, but you’re afraid that she would. You don’t necessarily know that she would but that’s the first thing I want to say.

Allison:  

Right.

Jon:  

The second thing is –

Allison:  

Well, I can — just to add to the story a little bit she didn’t used to be this way and then we adopted some children from Africa and the stress of it it just changed her into a different child.

Jon:  

Yeah, I would take a — in that case, one of the things that she’s doing with this whole eating thing is it’s a way of getting attention from you.

Kelly:  

Yeah.

Jon:  

If she didn’t have this whole eating issue then you wouldn’t be focusing so much on her and her issues. You’re worried, she’s worried, we’re all worried, but at the same time she’s getting attention from you at a time when there’s all these other kids coming in.

So this is the strategy that I would take. First thing I would do is give — when you’re spending time with her the type of interaction I would have is to reassure her and reassure her that she’s your daughter and you love her more than anything and now that we have brothers and sisters, it’s more love for everybody but the love that you have for her will never die and it’s always there. And stay focused on the real issue, that’s the real issue for her. The next thing I would do is really, as much as possible, de-emphasize food completely.

Allison:  

Right. That’s what I’ve been trying.

Jon:  

Always make sure you’re adding certain foods to her diet. Put ground linseed on all her food.

Allison:  

She does all the healthy foods. She puts grounds flax seeds on everything, she drinks green juice, she drinks — she takes BarleyMax by the spoonful.

Jon:  

Okay. This is all really serious food.

Kelly:  

She’s enlightened for that age, wow.

Jon:  

Yeah. But it’s also where it’s coming from is a little bit concerning. So I think what you have to totally de-emphasize food. Reward her, say that’s great that she’s eating healthy or something but de-emphasize it. If she wants to eat something else after she’s eaten her good food don’t make a big deal out of it. De-emphasize weight, de-emphasize food; focus on the love. Just focus on the fact — because that’s where it’s coming from, so focus on the real issue. Focus on the love.

She’s feeling maybe like you took on some new people and maybe why did you do that. And I’m not saying this is why you did it, but in her mind she’s thinking, “Why did you do that? Well, they don’t love me as much or they want some new people. They’re done with me.”

All these things go through a child’s mind and that’s what she started gaining weight. Focus on the real issues. Just don’t talk about weight with her anymore, don’t talk about dieting because that’s what it’s become.

Allison:  

I try not to but she brings it up so how would I respond to her when she asks me to plan her meals for the next day?

Jon:  

I would say it’s very important to get the nutrients your body needs but food is isn’t everything. There’s so much more to life, and why don’t — and you just need to know that your mommy and daddy love you more than anything and talk about that.

Allison:  

Well, I felt like we had done that but maybe not enough, I guess.

Jon:  

I’m sure you did, but obviously that’s what’s going on in a child’s mind. It doesn’t have to be rational, it doesn’t have to make sense but it’s her issue that’s been triggered and somehow by making it more about including the new kids, and making it all a family and all of these things, focusing on that, and whenever she does bring up food say it’s really important to nourish your body, but food isn’t everything and weight isn’t everything.

Allison:  

Right.

Jon:  

Make it as small as possible.

Allison:  

Can I ask you an unrelated question?

Jon:  

Yeah, go ahead.

Allison:  

Jon, I’ve been listening to the CD, and when I first listened to it I was like immediately asleep; never got past my shoulders. And now I’ve been listening to it and I’ll start getting really agitated for some reason, or I’ll fall asleep and then I’ll wake back up in the middle of it and I’ll go — like I’ll come in and out of sleep as I’m listening to it and I don’t understand what’s going on.

Jon:  

Yeah, well, obviously it’s triggered something in you that’s going on in your life right now. And so that’s going to happen while that issue’s still there and while the issue’s being resolved. And once that gets worked out, then that will go away then.

So it’s obviously picking on something in your life that’s an issue and so your body starts sort of like rebelling because maybe it’s holding on to wait for some issue and you’re touching that issue and your body’s rebelling and saying, “No, I want to hold onto weight,” or that issue’s there as you work that issue out. It’s like ironing out the crinks a little bit, then that will go away.

Allison:  

I had, a couple of years ago, lost 120 pounds on a high raw food diet. And then in the last couple of years I’ve like gained 20 pounds of it back, and it’s like I can’t get back into that healthy eating. It’s like I keep wanting to binge on sugar and I don’t understand why where it worked so well for me before, it won’t work now.

Jon:  

There’s an issue in your life right now. Something’s come up and it might be related to the changes in your family circumstances right now. I don’t know and I don’t know enough about your situation at the moment but there’s an issue there, and that’s come up and the CD is triggering it. So what I would suggest to you is to just continue listening to the CD until it doesn’t trigger it anymore. Probably you won’t have those cravings anymore.

We have 10 minutes left and there’s another caller here in Brisbane, Tammy, who I want to take so Allison thanks very much.

Allison:  

All right. Well, thank you.

Kelly:  

And keep us posted. Keep us posted. Call in.

Jon:  

Yeah, please do.

Allison:  

Okay. Thank you.

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